For a bit of context: I'm getting married to a v. handsome and wonderful man on 30th August... This year!
This is the first (and I intend for it to be the only!) wedding I've ever planned. When I was seven years old and all the other girls wanted to be nurses and princesses and unicorns, I wanted to shave my head like Sinead O'Connor and be a soldier like Demi Moore in GI Jane. (I still want that bod - shower scene anyone?!)
So you can probably imagine that I've never been one of those girls with a wedding scrapbook dreaming of the day Prince Charming would sweep me off my feet and rescue me. I mean why would I? I had my own semi automatic weapon. Duh.
I haven't whiled away hours fantasising about my wedding dress. I do not know the names of the flowers I want to hold in my bouquet (err... Black and white ones?!) I've also not attended a lot of weddings in my life - maybe 3 or 4 that I can remember. My friendship circle is vast and diverse and spread over continents. I don't come from the sort of stock that follows the path of meeting their future hubby at university, getting married in their late twenties, kids in their early thirties, every summer weekend spent at someone's hen do / wedding / baby shower / christening. So I haven't even heard my friends talking about this stuff.
It's no surprise then that all this wedding planning malarky has come as a bit of a shock to me...
As far as I was concerned, we were having a pretty intimate, laid back wedding, with the emphasis on fun rather than formalities, which is totally our style, but, I also believed, meant not hugely stressful on the planning front.
I was wrong. The devil, as they say, is totally in the detail! The closer we draw to the day the more little details that require my attention keep cropping up. I'm determined (in a lovely happy way, rather than a gritted teeth, war paint kind of way!) to have as carefee a day as possible. That means forward thinking lots of eventualities. Lengthy emails to lengthy lists of people, reminding, ordering and confirming. Making sure everyone knows where they need to be at what time, how to get there and what their job is.
It kind of feels like packing for one of my transatlantic trips, but on a waaay bigger scale. Whenever I have international travel planned I get the big stuff sorted first - plane tickets and hotel reservations and I'm like yeah, it's fine, I'm all ready for this trip. And in my mind I'd like to be packed and prepared with a little bit of breathing room before the alarm goes off at 3am and it's time to leave for my flight.
It never happens like that. I'm always pulling together the finer details at the last minute. The bright ideas I had that will make my trip so much easier / more efficient / comfortable are now keeping me awake until midnight when I had planned to be done and dusted at 5pm and relaxing before an early night.
With 15 days to go before our wedding I've had to do a reality check and use the tools that I share with my clients all the time to bring the stress under control and gain some much needed perspective. After all, flowers and welcome drinks are lovely, but this is about Dave and I sharing our commitment to one another in front our of nearest and dearest.
So without further ado, here are the lessons I have (re)learned from planning a wedding:
1) Ask for help. Shit shock horror, you don't have to do it all by yourself! There are people already in your life that can do it better than you and actually *want* to help you. So ask, and then receive. (Thank you Dave for the invites, Sophie for the flowers, Celia for the cake, Clare for the decorating advice and general moral support and on and on...)
2) Give yourself a break. Why is it that 15 days out from my wedding *everyone* (not even mildly exaggerated by stressed out #weddingbrain) in my network seems to be getting mainstream media recognition - something that I've desired since I put down my AK47 and started fancying being on the telly instead. Now on top of getting meal pre orders fixed up I'm freaking out thinking, wait, shouldn't I be writing press releases or networking with people in the TV industry?! The answer is yes, of course I should. In 16 days time. Opportunity is not going to pass me, or you by in 15 days. Relax and focus on getting to grips with the behemoth in front of you instead of trying every conceivable way to make it bigger and more complicated. Self sabotage much?!
3) Acknowledge what a big deal it is. As our wedding comes hurtling towards me at an alarming rate I'm starting to realise more and more each day what a huge emotional deal this is. (I know, I know, but like I said I haven't been mentally preparing for this my whole life!) I've been so focussed on the practical that the emotional effects have sort of crept up and knocked me sideways. Now I know that connecting with Source and taking the time to really allow what this joyous commitment means to me to soak in fully, is as much part of my wedding preparation as emailing the caterers and writing my vows. So my advice to you is whatever you're working through right now, be sure to take a moment (or three) to take stock and actually acknowledge what you're going through or working up to, physically, practically, emotionally and spiritually.
I hope that my tales from #weddingbrain have given you some inspiration for your own life and if you'd like some support moving from stress, craziness and feeling disconnected from your inner self I'm inviting you to snap up one of the spots I've opened up for folks who are ready to take the leap from overwhelmed, frustrated, stagnant and stuck, to living their ideal life, fulfilled, reenergised, excited and moving forward in the direction of their dreams. If this is you and you want to know more about my new way of working click here to book in for your complimentary Breakthrough session with me.