I see it time and time again. Hot rockin’ kickass soul sisters (and brothers) doing their thing, on the spiritual and the human planes. Meditating daily then going out and making shiz happen. Except there’s this one thing – could be a specific project, or a whole area of their lives, that just isn’t quite coming off. They’re doing their work, they’re shining their light but for some reason, it just ain’t happening for them. *Caveat: As with all my posts, talks and teachings I speak from experience. Them, they or you, could easily be switched out for I, me or my.
I see this from the outside looking in: watching my fellow spiritualistas burgeoning careers on stages and social media. I also see it close up with my clients. Nonetheless I see it a lot.
So what’s going on? If this spiritual stuff works, why isn’t it, well, working? It’s not because it comes with the Ron Burgundy-esque guarantee that “60% of the time, it works every time” (If I just lost you, Google “Sex Panther”. It’s safe for work I promise!)
It’s more like 60% of the time we trust the Universe every time.
Here’s a humdinger of a truth coming at you FOC from the Spirit Deej: Either the Universe is in charge… Or it’s not.
Either the Universe, God, Source, Spirit, whatever word works for you, is the almighty omnipresent creator of all things, with masterplan in hand. Or it’s not.
It doesn’t make any sense, even to our crazy human ego fuelled logic that the Universe would like totes have a handle on everything… Eeeeeexcept your money. Or your relationships. Or your body. Or whatever area is your spiritual kryptonite.
And this is the rub. If you believe the Universe is in charge, 100%, that means to really vibe high with the powers that be and get totally in the flow of your life, whatever comes your way, you have to surrender 100%. Be 100% vulnerable, open and trusting. Not 90%, or even 99.99%. One. Hundred. Per. Cent.
Of course, like all top quality, spiritual lessons it flies in the face of everything we’ve been taught, at least in the modern western world.
“Stand up for yourself.” “Take what’s yours.” “Don’t let your guard down.” “Take control.” A common attitude of take and control runs through our mindset and language as standard. So of course, by it’s very nature, being open, vulnerable and trusting feels scary. We’ve been conditioned to believe that these qualities leave us open to attack, laid bare to harm and destruction. It’s 180 degrees away from the vibe of the Universe, which is always receive and let go.
When we’re in that place of surrender we are physically, emotionally and spiritually making room for miracles. We’re handing control back to the Universe and saying “I trust you. You got me and the whole world this far, you may continue to drive this thing.”
Now if at this point you’re saying to yourself ‘But Jo, I’m not a surrendering kinda gal / guy. I’m a go-getter. I take control and make life happen. Sitting back and doing nothing just ain’t gonna float my spiritual boat!” Let me tell you this: Surrendering is the most active thing, and one of the most difficult things you will ever do. There is nothing laid back about surrender. Because we have been conditioned to take control and be in charge, when we decide to surrender we’re opting to undo a lifetime’s worth of conditioning. It feels creaky and weird at best, and downright unthinkable and terrifying at worst. And it won’t happen all in one go. You’ll need to keep checking on that sucker because I’ll bet my bottom dollar that before you know it, little elements of control will start to creep back in. You might switch the controlling from one area of your life to another. You might start controlling in more subtle and manipulative ways that you don’t even realise because the fear of letting go of that grip is so super scary to your sub conscious. And let’s not forget that your ego is smart because you are smart. And it’s not past turning your spiritual practice against you… To this end you might find yourself controlling the surrender! LOLZ! #notevenjoking.
But like everything in life, it’s a practice. The more you do it, the better you’ll get at it. The more you do it, the more aware you’ll become. The faster you’ll be able to catch that controlling little grip on whatever situation you’re working with and prize its cold stiff proverbial fingers off, while you meditate the shit out of that thing!
Warning: Extreme extended metaphor approaching... If you think of your life as a house, when you begin your conscious spiritual practice it feels wonderful and miraculous and you think that your house is going to get a paint job and a shiny new front door, maybe a cool basement renovation and landscaped garden. What actually happens is the Universe takes one look and says “Nope, the foundations are no good. We need to tear the whole thing down and start again.” Ugh. Well that sounds like a load of hard work! Yup. But it’s totally worth it because you’re going to get this incredible new house (life) with a super strong foundation. Awesome. But when you’re continuing to take control you’re filling your house up with what you think should be in it. You’re holding on to your ideas and ideals. You’re cluttering the place up with the crust of your history – with old newspapers, sentimental tit tat from past relationships and that dodgy stained sofa you had when you were a student. Except you keep asking the Universe for some new furniture and a fancy coffee machine (ie. Miracles! Y’ know all that stuff you really want – amazing job, loving partner, rockin’ relationship with your bod) and it’s waiting outside with the van! All the miracles are held in trust for you. Buddha, Jesus and the Holy Spirit are on your street with their friggin’ overalls on trying to get the new chaise and sound system through the door but it’s too full of what you thought should be in there. When you surrender and release, you literally open up the space for the miracles to come in. When you hand the reigns over to the Universe, it does a really great job. (No shit!?)
My personal spiritual path A Course in Miracles says “Try not to shape this day as you believe would benefit you most. For you cannot conceive of all the happiness that comes to you without planning.” The Universe / God / Source / Spirit made you. It has the most incredible plans for you, full of love and abundance, that your human brain with its ego and its story and it’s Twitter addiction, cannot even comprehend. So let it do its thing. Trust. Build your faith through practice, and feel the arms of your spiritual connection catch you as you float gently back into them. Commit to the process but detach from the outcome. One foot in front of the other, regardless. Is that not what the whole of life truly is anyway? Continuing on with no real idea, except for our own trivial concocted projections of what it will be?
“Ok, ok”, I hear you cry, “I’m sold on surrender, please no more mile long analogies! Just tell me how to do the damn thing!” It’s my pleasure sweetness…
Stay open. Meditate. Pray. Talk to Spirit. Ask for help. Let go. Check in. Repeat.
If you want a little more help come and get lovingly schooled in surrender, and so much more at the next #HigherSelfie Salon on Sunday 31st May in London. Get your tickets here.